Embracing Motherhood Over 40

My Story – A Journey of Wisdom, Transformation, and Joy

Whether you’ve had fertility struggles, intentionally waited until later in life to start a family, or life has taken you on a different path than expected, becoming a mother is a life-changing experience- no matter when it happens. 

My oldest son Philip, is now 14. His dad sadly passed in a tragic motorcycle accident in 2010 when he was just 5 months old. Our whole word changed overnight – literally. I spent the next decade navigating my grief, and being the best single mom I could.

Being in my late 30’s, I basically had written off having more children some day, even the thought of getting married was such a foreign concept to me. It just was not in my mindset. I had created a solid life, and sense of self. I built my walls high.

One early spring day in 2020, my whole life changed course, when I packed up our whole life on Long Island NY and moved to South Carolina- right at the start of the pandemic. 

Little did I know, I would shortly thereafter meet the sweetest, selfless southern gentleman, who tore down my walls. We relocated again to another part of the state, bought a home, and got married. Not only did I inherit 2 beautiful bonus daughters, Tommy and I had our very own baby boy in 2023, making Hines party of 6. An absolute whirlwind of blessings, and they were happening to  me. 

Stepping into motherhood over the age of 40 definitely came with its own unique set of challenges. Physically I was older. I admit, I basically did not feel well for a year, whereas this was not the case with Phil. Heck, I was wearing stilettos, and power washing my house at 7 months pregnant then at 26! (do not try this) This time around, I was always tired, waddled from my sciatica, and was at the doctor constantly for tests, check ups, being poked and prodded- since after all, being over 35 is considered “high risk.” 

Being an old fart also gave me an advantage from the wealth of life experience I brought to the table. Now that I’m in my 40’s I’ve navigated countless life challenges, developed a strong sense of self, and gained valuable insights about what truly matters in life.

Our baby Oliver was everything I never knew I needed to complete not only our family, but my heart. Although I had accepted life as it was with just Philip and I, what I didn’t realize I needed, was another child- something my heart ached for deep down, and I silenced the pangs for a decade. 

We always hear people say, “things are not on your time, but on God’s time.” insert eye roll, I know, I know -BUT- like it or not, oh how true this really is. 

For anyone who needs to hear this, never give up on your dreams. Always remember, there is no “right way” to start or grow a family. Things can change when you least expect it, and the seemingly impossible IS always possible.  

• Xo Delia